Dealing With Loss

We endure losses nearly every day, some bigger than others and we each cope in different ways. In general we are only aware of the most obvious losses, the ones that force us to reconsider or correct previous ideas. For example, we may regret that a family member has decided to move across the country, we are at a loss. Of course we consider the larger scenario as the loss. Our family member will not be here at our disposal; we can call her but can’t see her. Maybe she’ll be around for Thanksgiving but not to help us move into a new apartment and so on. Perhaps we have a tendency to overlook a series of smaller losses that occurred before she made her decision whether that was years of taking her for granted, instances of distancing yourself from her or a combination of the two. The impact of the loss is enhanced by one, consciously or subconsciously, making those revelations in hindsight.
We lament having made poor choices in the past and are forced to course correct by apologizing for not being a better sibling or trying to be a better one in the future. Sometimes, we even concede defeat and beat ourselves up for not realizing our mistakes before time ran out, vowing not to repeat that mistake again.
The greater losses are the losses that we may never detect, the losses that change us without our knowledge, and the losses that inform our future decisions without our permission. I call these losses of self. We endure them whenever we choose not to speak out against the abuse of power, whenever we choose to compromise our principles for the sake of convenience and whenever we choose to neglect our sense of self to accommodate for someone else’s growth or happiness. We accept the terms of such losses when good enough will suffice and we don't submit our humble best because others don't recognize or appreciate our efforts. The result is never what our intentions convinced us was possible. We sacrifice a portion of our soul in hopes that we can derive some benefit. Truthfully, in these instances our concept of the greater good is flawed and as things fall into place our enfeebled souls reserve animosity for the conditions, under which, it was attacked. Bit by bit, our essence resembles something that we detest more than what we’ve conceived it to be and we are unable to rely on our moral compass although we want to so much. For the lucky or strong that realization forces us to reassess and for the rest of us we are made to wait for a catastrophe of self.