When Men Were Men Revisit

After further inspection "Rock Steady" may have been the first date rape or at least the first sexual coercion song I ever heard.

Hanging In There: The Social Etiquette of Grieving

Funerals are not particularly for the dead. The last time I checked, no dead person ever stood up and applauded at the end of his own funeral. No, funerals are very much for the living. They are like the first step in a right of passage into a new world that exists without our loved one. Right? I recently went to a funeral of a loved one whom I adored, and I realized one fact about funerals: It’s not ok to grieve. What I mean by that is; some grieve outwardly, and some inwardly, but there is only one method of “acceptable grief” that can be displayed at funerals. If you are too expressive, you are being dramatic, but you can’t be too stoic either; people will think you don’t care. You have to cry just enough so people will know that you are holding something back and “being tough” or “hanging in there.”
My funeral experience is a tale of funeral etiquette at its finest. As I looked around, there were people on both sides of the spectrum, no one going overboard, and a few people with forced sad looks. Most of all, family members were just trying to “be strong,” including me. One widely used sadness-eradicating funeral mantra asserted, “this is not a funeral, this is a celebration!” So, I couldn't be too sad because it would bring down the mood. Bring down the mood? What? It’s a damn funeral! A person whom I truly loved is gone. Dead. Finished. I will never see them again. There’s no coming back from that. There are lots of emotions that I think I am supposed to feel at a time like this, but celebratory is not one of them. Sure, we should honor the accomplishments that the person made in life, be thankful that they are no longer suffering, and appreciate the good things about the person, yada yada yada. But should I feel like I’m doing something wrong by being sad in the presence of others?
I mean, God forbid those others see me expressing my emotion so that it doesn’t build up inside, wreaking havoc on my mind and body, and decide that they want to do the same! Oh no! We can’t have that, now can we? Emotions must be expressed in the short run so that they don’t build up and take over in the long run. Anyone who’s ever found themselves crying over the ostracism experienced by the cavemen in the GEICO commercials knows that. And yes, even if you are religious and believe in an afterlife, you are still entitled to feel sad. I mean, hopefully for you, it will be a hell of a long time before you see that person again. There needs to be a cultural shift in our perspectives on of acceptable funeral behavior. No matter how sad or content you feel, it's ok. We must break free from the chains of pressure to be “strong,” or to fit into others' expectations for our grief. We should learn to grieve out of the box.

The Story of Milo

In brief, his story goes as following. Milo wanted to get stronger: Milo decided to lift a calf onto his shoulders everyday. As the calf grew Milo needed more force to lift the calf. Eventually the calf became a full grown steer and Milo could lift it onto his back.

Aside from being an inspiring power lifting allusion, it describes how adaptable the human state is. If you convince your body or your mind that it has to do something, it will. Further, if you commit yourself to increasing the expectations you have for yourself eventually you can do the unimaginable.

There is an innate voice that tells us to impose limitations on ourselves and this mechanism is often protective but I think the people in this world who have learned to ignore this voice are the ones who are truly able to achieve greatness.

where did that come from? I'm not sure but you can insert any great person's story here to make it sensible.

The Big Switch (pun not intended)

Did you ever notice the subtle transition in modern thug culture? Okay maybe it's not too subtle when you recall the hyper masculine thuglife culture and juxtapose it with the current homo-social anti-woman "fashion" charged rap culture of today.

Let's compare to popular rap artist.

Tupac: aside from his politically charged rhetoric in albums like NIGGA and Don Killuminati, This man made powerful music that reflected the needs of the people. He created a classic tribute to his mother and wrote "Wonder why they call you B*tch" which actually is a compassionate plea to women who, in his opinion were misguided. He wrote angry works which targeted the individuals who broke the code like, "Against all Odds."

Gucci Mane: First of all this character actually calls himself, Gucci. How is that gangsta? He has footage of himself punching a woman in the face on the web for getting too close to him during a performance. The crux of his body of work is that he has diamonds and Fancy clothing. That's nice for you sir but why am I interested?

Okay maybe I'm getting a little older and my tastes aren't evolving as fast as the world around me. And maybe I've heard a Versace allusion or two in Pac's work. Perhaps Pac had even made a misogynistic statement or two in his time but come on. Where is the substance of this new thug movement? Are we killing ourselves and one another so that we can wear diamonds and furs? is it realy that interesting to know what you wore to the club last night? Are we to believe the new role for women is a plaything to be passed like a blunt? Do we show our care for them by buying things instaed of creating a stable enviornment for the families that we make with them? What's the fascination with runniong a train? (two or more men have sex with a woman, so you can have sex with your homeboys without having sex with your homeboys) I've probably said too much. Do you feel me?

P.S.

Gucci Mane is 5 years younger than Tupac and Pac has been dead for over a decade so let's not start talking about him getting better with age

The New Danger

So as America wages a new global war on terror, (yes, I know I'm somewhat late on this one) what about the domestic front? The very thing that scares Americans more than anything else in the world is not the fear that people will invade our cities or that extremest rhetoric will overtake the minds of our young.

No.

What Americans fear the most is that we will have to spend only the money that we earn or only purchase things that we need.

The faltering economy can, in part be blamed on individuals like Mr. Sullivan who lead AIG to nearly collapse leading Americans to pay for its restoration. Further, as a result of our faltering financial institutions we are forced to tighten our belts in response.

Americans are still afraid. If we really want to send out a message to those extremist about how pure democracy is and how well it works, we must make an example of our own domestic terrorists. In the coming days I urge you all to send letters to the Obama administration to root out these terrorists, find them in their multimillion dollar caves bomb their villages and take prisoners when needed. hold them in cells and with the same regard as Shabaab and Al-queda I guarantee that Americans would feel freer than ever, the economy would rebound and these peasants would stop complaining about the gas prices.

Moments in Irkdom: Foresight

what if I told you that I was going to give you an all expenses paid trip to Kenya? would you wait until the plane landed to ask if you were getting a plane ticket back? I hope not. this is what's called foresight.
or more clearly defined:

Perception of the significance and nature of events before they have occurred.
Care in providing for the future; prudence.
The act of looking forward.

This is a gift that we have all been given from God yet some of us decide to ignore. I get the whole "let's live in the moment" or "I could get hit by a bus tomorrow" mentality but what if that bus doesn't come? You're stuck on this planet paying for your yesterdays with tomorrow's grief.
I'm not even talking about big things like going to college or using a condom. If you come over my house and make a PB and J please put the lid back on the jar. You feel me?

When Men Were Men

So this morning I had "Rock Steady" stuck in me head and i decided to check it out on youtube. I have come upon a startling revelation, the Black man's mustache quality has degraded precipitously since the 80s. Bear in mind the whispers were quite possibly the worlds oldest boy band. Nevertheless, I am a man with robust facial hair and I've been so since 14 yet feel that I couldn't even muster the facial geography to cultivate such a wonderful crumb duster. These guys were just flaunting those things as they paraded about the stage. There wasn't a mustache guy that everyone tried to equal, but several masterfully drafted lip warmers. how was this so?

The Age of the Medi-talent

Remember when Stevie wonder used to make you dance in your pjs as he sang and played a perfectly crafted melody? Or how Ray Charles could make you wanna tell somebody to hit the road or make you want to live in Georgia? or how MJ made you want to wear a leather jacket, glove and tight pants? (ok maybe not all that) but still these were artist that sang and performed like their very lives depended on it. At some point I'm sure they believed their lives did. As children they were raised up hungry and talented. Ray didn't want to depend on anybody and being the greatest artist of his time was the only way he saw to live as he wished. He gave himself to the music. I could go on but I won't.

I said earlier that MJ's death was the end of an era but the era of the super talent has been on life support for some time. We once had an affinity for those with ability and creativity but we've shunned them in favor of marketability. The artists of today cannot compare to MJ or Stevie because their song aren't made to endure. we are enamored with stanky legs and chicken noodle soups and vocoder club bangers that will be nothing but a joke in ten years. look at the popular artists of today like Rhianna and Chris Brown both are artists of meager vocal talent but they fit the image so they sell records based upon formulaically produced singles and superior market exposure. When was the last time you heard a song and really felt goosebumps rise up and chills go down like when you think about MJ singing man in the mirror?
u feel me?

How to Get a Free Sammich

Do you order food from the same place several times a week? If so here a sure fire way to get a free, whatever you like. Let's say you like cheesesteaks. Call your favorite sub shop and ask for a cheesesteak with whatever you want on it and right before you hang up stress to the person on the other end the phone that you "don't want no onions." Do this a few more times and each time stress even more ephatically "I don't want no onions".

Now you've laid the groundwork.

After you feel that you've set the stage go to the resturant in person and complain that you are a loyal customer and you feel unappreciated because you stress over and over that you "don't want no onions" and that exactly what you get. You haven't had an onion in weeks, become irate and demand a refund and there you go, free sandwich